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Rev. Rob Richardson

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Fun, Fun, Fun

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus Drive?"

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord

Christian One Liners:

• Don't let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
• Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
• It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
• Opportunity may knock once, but temptation leans on the bell.
• The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "in conclusion."
• Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
• We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
• Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.
• Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
• Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
• Forbidden fruits create many jams.
• God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called.
• God grades on the cross, not the curve.
• God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
• God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
• He who angers you, controls you!
• If God is your Copilot--swap seats!
• Prayer: Don't give God instructions--just report for duty!
• The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
• The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
• We don't change the message. The message changes us.
• You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

Found circulating on the net.